


You Decide to Stay (I Could Be Enough)

by DaniiButNotBeck



Category: Van Helsing (TV)
Genre: F/F, this is.....Gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-22
Updated: 2016-11-22
Packaged: 2018-09-01 11:14:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8622421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaniiButNotBeck/pseuds/DaniiButNotBeck
Summary: It’s been days since they kissed and Susan still can’t get over it. Meanwhile, Vanessa’s off with some guy she met two minutes ago. Susan’s not jealous though. // Or: Vanessa and Susan finally talk about their kiss in 1x09.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This fic took me 3 days to write I don't even have an excuse. Anyway, here it is.

“Women’s dorms are this way,” Susan says, wrapping her hand around Vanessa’s wrist. “I’ll take it from here, Zorro.” She doesn’t even bother sparing Theo a glance as she drags Vanessa away from him; truth be told, she’s happy thinking she hurt his feelings and she knows that if she looks back at him and sees anything other than a devastated expression she’ll lose her carefully-maintained cool.

She doesn’t let go of Vanessa’s wrist even as they get closer to the dorms; she’s afraid that as soon as she lets go, Vanessa will run as far from her as she can get. Susan won’t blame her though: everyone leaves her eventually.

There are so many things she wants to say – they rest on the tip of her tongue, push against her lips. She sets her jaw, clenches her teeth. Vanessa is her best friend – the last thing she needs is to lose that because she couldn’t keep her feelings in check.

Vanessa hasn’t spoken either, hasn’t even made an attempt to. She follows along dutifully, mind probably still on Theo with his stupid-perfect body and his stupid-perfect face.

Part of Susan – the irrational part that’s in love with Vanessa – hates him, hates Vanessa, hates knowing that they have some kind of fucking _connection_. Part of Susan wishes he’d left them out there to die.

Okay, not really, but she’s feeling melodramatic and kind of like her heart is breaking so just let her have this.

The women’s dorms are in the building next to the main building. There are three floors with ten rooms per floor. Susan leads Vanessa to the top floor and finds two rooms adjacent to each other. She takes the inner room and gives the outer one to Vanessa.

“Well,” Susan says, leaving Vanessa at her door and backtracking to her own door. “Good night.”

“Hey, Sue,” Vanessa calls.

Door half closed, Susan pauses. “Yeah?” There’s a part of her – the same stupid, irrational part that’s in love with Vanessa – that hopes Vanessa will ask her to stay, hopes that they’ll finally talk about the elephant in the room.

But that’s not what she gets.

“Sleep well,” Vanessa says, and then she disappears into her room, closing the door behind her.

Right. Well that’s… _fine_. It’s fine. She’s fine. Everything’s fine. Well, no. Not everything. But this whole situation is just…Fine.

Susan kicks her door shut behind her and falls face-first onto her bed. She kicks off her shoes and pulls the blanket up over her shoulders. The second she closes her eyes, she’s asleep.

She doesn’t sleep well; every little noise wakes her and the moonlight coming in through the window casts shadows on the wall that keep her up.

In the morning, she wakes up exhausted and achy and in a shitty mood before she even leaves her room.

The day only serves to make her mood worse and by the time she settles into bed she’s ready to murder someone.

And then comes the knock at her door.

She could ignore it, pretend she’s asleep and hope whoever it is just leaves, but deep down she knows it’s Vanessa on the other side of that door and she knows herself well enough to already know she’s going to open that damn door.

The wooden floor is cold against her bare feet. She walks over to the door and just stands there, waiting.

“Susan?” Vanessa says, her voice cracking on the second syllable. “Are you there?”

“Yeah?”

“Is it okay if I bunk with you?”

Susan opens the door, smiling softly. “Of course,” she says, shutting the door behind Vanessa. She gets settled into bed first and pats the empty spot beside her.

Vanessa toes off her shoes and settles into bed. She laces her fingers together and rests her hands on her stomach, staring up at the ceiling. “I had sex with Theo today. Out in the clearing by the stream. It wasn’t…” – she trails off, grimacing – “I bit him? On his neck. It was weird.”

Propped up on her elbow with her back against the wall, Susan pulls a face. “Yeah,” she says, “that’s weird.”

Vanessa laughs and once she gets going she can’t seem to get herself to stop which only serves to get Susan laughing too. Soon they’re both in tears.

“Shut up,” Vanessa says, reaching up to wipe at her eyes, “you’re supposed to be my best friend. That’s not very supportive of you.”

Susan’s laughter stops abruptly, falling into a sigh. She reaches over and places her hand on top of Vanessa’s. This is the first time they’ve touched deliberately since they kissed and the contact feels like it’s sending jolts of electricity through Susan’s hand and up into her arm. “I’m sorry,” she says, “I love you and you know I’ll always support whatever weird shit you’re in to.”

The words carry more weight that she intended, but they’re true, and she needs Vanessa to understand that.

Vanessa swallows down the last of her laughter, feeling the change in the atmosphere. She turns her hand, intertwining their fingers, and looks up at Susan. “You love me?” she asks. Her voice is soft, almost reverent, like she can’t believe what she’s hearing.

“Of course, you idiot. You’re my best friend.”

This is what a moment feels like, Vanessa realizes. Right now, in this bed with Susan and this honest declaration of love, with the world falling to shit around them – this is a Moment. And she’s about to ruin it.

Vanessa swallows hard. “Susan, about the other night…”

Susan shakes her head. “You don’t have to.”

“I want to explain.”

“Really, Van, you don’t have to. I get it.”

“You really don’t. Can you just let me—”

“I shouldn’t have kissed you. It was just a long day, and it’s okay. I get it. You don’t have to explain anything.”

Vanessa moves quickly. She leans up and presses her lips to Susan’s, her free hand coming up to rest on Susan’s hip. She uses their clasped hands to keep herself from falling over. It takes a second but Susan finally sinks into the kiss, relishing in the feeling of Vanessa’s body against hers.

This time when Vanessa pulls away, she’s grinning. “Now will you let me explain?”

Susan smirks. “Only if you’re quick about it.” She pushes Vanessa down so she is lying on her back and lays down so her body is pressed right up against Vanessa’s, sighing happily.

“I’ve wanted to do that for a while,” Vanessa says. “Kiss you, I mean. Since long before the Rising. Since long before I punched Tommy even.” She sighs, running her hand over her face. “And I didn’t want our first kiss to be under those circumstances, so I pulled away and I decided to pretend it didn’t happen. But then I saw how you jealous you were when I was with Theo and I realized I couldn’t do that to you. This world is shit, Sue, but at least I’ve got you.”

Susan laughs self-consciously. “Me? Jealous? Never.”

Vanessa scoffs, rolling her eyes. She turns her head and presses a kiss to Susan’s forehead. “Sure. You just keep telling yourself that.”

“Shut up.”

Vanessa smirks. “Make me.”

“Don’t say things you don’t mean.”

“Who says I don’t mean it?”

Susan rolls her eyes. “Go to bed, Vanessa.”

“You go to bed.”

Susan pulls the blanket over the two of them and drapes her arm over Vanessa’s stomach. She presses a kiss to Vanessa’s neck, and she’s asleep within seconds.

She actually dreams.

_The end_


End file.
